It was total mayhem at Second Altona Mennonite Church this week after Pastor Susan called for Hymn 67. “I should have waited until the kids were dismissed for Children’s Church,” said Susan. “As soon ...

Area farmer Keith Thiessen, 61, has just purchased more than a thousand acres of land near Morden, Manitoba, which he intends to seed with aura this spring. “Everyone else is doing corn or canola, so ...

A young Mennonite woman from Winnipeg has been wondering lately whether it just might be that she’s actually an Anglican. Katie Enns, 23, started having Anglican thoughts a few years ago and has even ...

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of frequently used ...

Attendees at a local Mennonite church will be on their best behaviour from now on as the church has blown their entire budget to hire English rock band Coldplay to help identify sinners. “This is a ...

Dozens of Steinbachers expressed their rage on the community Facebook page this week, wondering just when “they” were going to bring a particular fast food restaurant to town. “I’m sick and tired of ...

Mr. Abe Klassen of Rosthern has just been awarded the top prize for the most delicious, most noble peas in the world. “Just look at those green plump peas, slathered in butter,” said judge Bjorn ...

The White House’s new $175 billion ‘golden dome’ defence program seems bound for completion this week after the administration got the Mennonites on board. “Nah, junges, normally we only have the ...

In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who ...

There are many benefits to signing up for The Unger Review email list, such as never having to lose sleep at night worrying that you might miss the latest fake news story about Mennonites. However, ...

In the early days of the Daily Bonnet, you may recall an annual quiz wherein folks were asked to identify real news from the fake variety. Well, we’ve decided to rekindle that tradition here on The ...

Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing. “Only faspas and quilt auctions,” said press ...